"The Kindest Lie" was issued (and for once I mean it, there were ten copies) on 26th August 1988, and was my first album of new material for nearly two years. As such there was quite a lot of material for me to choose from, and I'll date each songs creation as we go along. But first here's the context.
In September 1987 I left my home town of Penarth for Sheffield where I was studying at the Polytechnic there. I spent a lot of time feeling displaced and there are reams of pages of my diary then where I whine on endlessly about my past, the girls I fancied (one of whom was also in Sheffield, with her boyfriend) and how much I hate Penarth and all the people in it, looking down on them with the kind of arrogance only available to 18 year olds. God what an arse I was but there you go. In June 1988 I returned to Penarth and felt a ridiculous sense of superiority over my friends. I was unhappy to be back home, unhappy that all my friends hadn't progressed as much as I thought I had, unhappy that they were in relationships and I wasn't, and unhappy that I couldn't sign on while my brother could. Throw all this idiocy into a mixer and hide away for a month and "The kindest lie" pops out the other end.
The major difference between this album and any previous tapes of mine is a bit more clarity and a new keyboard. Previous tapes had been made with my brothers electric guitar, a Casio vl tone, a Casio MT-45 and a Roland Sh3a, all pumped through a four channel Tandy mixer and bounced from my Sanyo music centre to my JVC tape deck and back and forth. At the start of August 88 I bought a Casio SK1, a cute mini keyboard with better drum sounds, some new keyboard sounds and best of all a sampler, which I could mess around with for hours. It was hardly a Fairlight but it sampled for a second and it could be reversed or looped. This was marvellous for me. Also I decided to attempt to use less overdubs, I would make a first pass on the backing, then one round of overdubs and the second round of overdubs would go onto the master tape. This also meant the songs were all recorded in the order they appear on the album, so clearly I'd prepared everything before I started recording, which I didn't always do. So, less tape hiss, better sound quality,, some decent songs (and one or two iffy ones) - what could go wrong?
Well there were two incidents which led to this album. One was my lack of dole during the summer months, even though my brother got his. The other was some kind of falling out with a friend over a girlfriend, not that I fancied the girl or anything, just I felt betrayed and annoyed. So I stayed away from my friends throughout August, absorbed a lot of music which influenced this album and made the album in four weeks. When it was ready, I made up ten tape copies in proper sleeves (black card, gold writing, black tape case - it made quite a visual impact, I wish I still had one), returned to my pub and my friends and gave them out and waited for the repercussions.
Goodbye Happy Days
During the Spring and Summer of 1988 I absorbed as many of the Rubbles albums as I could find. There's a Goldfish post about it somewhere. Anyway this song was my attempt at freak beat, only with the limited resources available to me. I think the song was written around June 1988 and isn't about anyone. The drum sound is a sample on the SK1 of the snare sound on the MT45, then I programmed the drum track on the SK1 and recorded it alongside the first guitar part, then a bass guitar part was programmed for the second pass and played alongside the second guitar part, then the vocal. Like I said, limited resources and the lack of any guitar overdrive loses the freakbeat nature. I'd happily rerecord this as I heard it in my head.
To the angels a daughter
According to my diary, I sat down in April 1987 at my typewriter and bashed out four lyrics about four different girls I knew, supposedly for an EP which may or may not have been called “Songs about girls”. These words had no actual tunes and are all pretty crap except for this song. In fact there was no music for this for a long time, it was just a poem. I found it again during the summer of 88 and wrote the music for it, clearly indebted to “Sad eyed lady of the lowlands”. So it’s a first pass of the guitar part, then an overdub of the SK1 organ preset and the Roland Sh3a doing a rather nice lead weaving through the song, then my vocal which is a bit Dylan-esque in places too. As for the words, well I sort of meant it at the time. It’s about a girl who everyone thought I fancied and fancied me but we had a love hate relationship really and yes I suppose I liked her a bit but not much but those last lines are horrible and she didn’t deserve that. I’m sure she’s happy somewhere. So parts of the lyric are item #1 on the evidence list of the Arrogant Tosspot. Speaking of which....
To be Lonely
This song had a tortured history, and I wish it had turned out differently. My diary relates that the song had a lyric about helicopters and flying for most of its existence and it was only in the days before recording that I changed the lyric to this horrible bitter diatribe about my friends and how I’m better off not having a girlfriend. Yeah sure. I absolutely hate this lyric, the terrible rhymes, the “oh look he’s going to make a REALLY OBVIOUS rhyme” in the chorus (for which I was duly told off by at least two listeners). So this is item #2 in evidence for the Arrogant Tosspot. I can go through each line criticising each word. It’s shit.
And yet the music is ok. That’s the MT45 chugging away as drums, there’s some hopeless lead guitar (played at the same time as the lead vocal was recorded, I think, hence the sudden changes in volume). And there’s the first appearance of the influence of Colin Newman – I was listening to “Provisionally entitled the singing fish” / “Not to” and the CN1 CD single all the time and the title was stolen from the refrain at the end of “You me and happy” from “Not to”. I wish I’d gone for the helicopter lyric.
And yet the music is ok. That’s the MT45 chugging away as drums, there’s some hopeless lead guitar (played at the same time as the lead vocal was recorded, I think, hence the sudden changes in volume). And there’s the first appearance of the influence of Colin Newman – I was listening to “Provisionally entitled the singing fish” / “Not to” and the CN1 CD single all the time and the title was stolen from the refrain at the end of “You me and happy” from “Not to”. I wish I’d gone for the helicopter lyric.
What Makes The Sky Blue?
This song was written in February 1988 and originally appeared on side two of the “A miniature fortune” EP, three songs which are already digitised and may well get put online very soon. It was written in shock after returning to Penarth from Sheffield for a few days but is worded in such a way that it’s hard to tell. The February recording was fast, in mono, had six verses and was primitive and rather good. I rerecorded it for the album by slowing it down, losing two verses and making it sound quieter and less desperate. I always liked this song, and rerecorded it in 2000 for no real reason other than I liked it. There are hints of Arrogant Tosspot in the occasional line of the lyric but frankly I’ll let it pass. I love this song. It’s a bit of a sloppy performance because there’s no real rhythm track but what the hell.
Untitled
The song which started it all. As hinted in the introduction I felt betrayed by a friend and got pissed off and wrote this song about it at the start of August. Not sure why I never really gave the song a title. The music was one of the first pieces I wrote on the day I bought the SK1 – if you listened to “Nothing to say” you’ll notice a song with the same sounds and stereo field placement. Looking back this song is very very bitter. Thankfully short though.
For Anne
This might take a little time to explain. Bear with me.
In September 1986 I supposedly retired from music. Ha ha ha. I still kept writing songs though and by April 1987 had two mini albums planned, one of happy songs “Seven heavens” and one of fucked up songs called either “Morgan – a suitable case for treatment” or more likely “All messed up and nowhere to go”. “For Anne” was from the latter album. It’s an allegory of a relationship with a person for a relationship with a place – my old school. The Anne in question was my old Computer Studies teacher Mrs Mulrooney. Not that we ever had a relationship. There are hints of Arrogant Tosspot in here too, though I do admit that life is a struggle. The song was written on guitar but this version was heavily indebted to ’86 era Felt, as August 88 was all about “Doing it for the kids” and buying Felt LPs in their sale. So imagine if Lawrence was a slightly pissed off teenager with only a Casio for Martin Duffy to play. There’s some charmingly hopeless keyboard and guitar playing here.
The Way Forward
Another odd one. I wrote and recorded this in April 88 and that version was issued on the “Missing fifteen minutes” EP in July 88, and that tape turned up today so I may digitise that next because it really is hopeless, apart from this song. It’s sort of vaguely Dylan-esque and sort of politically critical of the Tory government at the time but most of the time the lyrics mean nothing. The third verse is about watching TV, “Through the keyhole” and “A fine romance”. But again I like this song. There’s an oddly tuned guitar running through it, sort of raga rock, created by removing one of the strings I think. And I’m bashing a kitchen roll tube. Lots of Casio chugging and for once it works.
Nothing Personal
Ha ha ha OF COURSE it’s personal. An introductory verse as good as any I ever wrote, four verses taking pot shots at four friends, then a closing verse and I fuck off. Meanwhile the Colin Newman influence comes through again, this time “Fish One” from “The singing fish”. I sampled a guitar harmonic into the SK1 then programmed the main descending riff really slowly then sped up the keyboard tempo and boom. Then I just added layers and layers of keyboards. And I fucked up triggering the sequence and drum machine at one point. I’m surprised some of the people this song is about didn’t punch me, this again is Arrogant Tosspot at his best. On the other hand what a tune! Written and recorded in one afternoon in August 88.
Past present future
A rare song that was written fully formed in my room in Sheffield, I think it was May or June 88, the tune and lyrics all came at once. Again it’s the Arrogant Tosspot, this time thinking about an imaginary conversation with an imaginary friend in my home town. Not very nice lyric really. The percussion track is a sample of me hitting one of my mother’s baking trays, it took three attempts and she asked me afterwards why there were three dents in her tray. There’s guitar and programmed bass and it’s a bit dull really.
Get out and give ‘em hell
And finally, having slagged off my home town and friends for 35 minutes, I look at myself hiding away for a month and tell myself to get out and live a bit. The song title came from the name of a fanzine I’d bought in Manchester a few months before, the song itself was written in an afternoon towards the end of August 88 and it sounds live because it pretty much is live. Oddly enough a few of my friends who heard this song thought I’d written it about them, and I was “No, it’s me, honest”. I like how this song ends.
So the album was issued at the end of August 1988 and instead of everyone punching me, they all loved it. So much so that one couple asked me to write a song about them, and we'll get to that soon enough.
In the meantime, download "The Kindest Lie" here.
