The Movement Of 26th March

For a change, it wasn't a girl.

It was two girls.

I was seventeen, in my first year of sixth form, and basking in the happiness of a long standing crush ending. It was over, I didn't give a shit about her just like she hadn't given a shit about me for two years. Thank God that was over.

But behind all the happiness I was secretly crushing on two other girls from the lower sixth at the same time. S and J were good friends with each other and had their own circle of friends which quite frankly wasn't mine. I would gaze across the common room at them but try not to be weird around them. And nobody knew and nobody guessed and it dragged on into the early months of 1986. Did I mention this before? (Checks) Oh I sort of did.

Meanwhile in the early months of 1986, my first two EPs of the year "Three for all" and "The commercial break" have been well received, I'm rehearsing the same songs every Saturday with Final Ecstasy, one week at Robin's house, one week at my house and one week at Dave's house. One time we have a drummer and it turns into a guitar and drum volume battle, so we sack him. One time we have a singer, but it turns out he's more interested in sport on Saturdays than our band (which is fair enough, given his father's job then and his own job now) so we sack him too.

During the first two weeks of March I prepare an EP for release entitled "A kiss in the rain and other dreams". There's two songs from the same session that gave the world "Three for all".."So in love" has nothing to do with OMD, and is a jaunty little piano tune about how happy I am to be in love. It's kind of based on a Victoria Wood song. "Sunset at six" was about how different people do different things at six pm. Both of those were shit. "This is all that I want" and "Out of control" were better - the former was written after a Final Ecstasy session at my house, I left all my synths out and came up with a cute electro pop song, then invited Mike H to come over after school on the Monday to record it. "Out of control" was five minutes of pulsing Roland synth noise, but with a tune. Both songs kind of hinted that I was crushing but not telling, there's a slightly desperate air of jollity about them.

Once I'd finished the EP - around 19th March - I listened to it, thought it was shit and didn't let anyone hear it.

Events then took their course. On the 19th we had class photos taken in the main hall. I was there between S and J, I looked geeky and they looked... like they always looked. Except J didn't smile. On the 21st, our order from mail order specialist Gema Records came, which meant I had "Machines", "I'd like to see you again" and "Tomorrow" in my collection. And that means it was the first time I heard "All that love and maths can do". You know the story, it's on Goldfish somewhere.

And on Wednesday 26th March 1986 we had the school prizegiving. And I felt like S kept looking at me and smiling, like she was winding me up. I had a dreadful feeling the prizegiving would be a disaster - I'd fall over on stage, I'd do something stupid in front of everyone (looking back, this is a very ASD trait) and worked myself up into an absolute frenzy of coiled up fear. Nothing happened but that didn't stop me worrying.

After all that, I seem to remember watching both girls play in a hockey match, then getting bored and walking into town with my friend Nigel. We were discussing girls and I happened to mention S - not about my crush but just in passing - and he said "Oh everyone fancies her" and I was crushed. I bought Melody Maker (featuring a great review of "Circuses and bread") and cycled home in a glum mood. Everyone fancied her? What chance did I have?

So I wrote a song about it called "Wind up". I should point out it is pronounced like winding up a clock, not blowing in the wind. The next day was the final day before the Easter holidays and we all sat around in the library, and I wrote another song there (at eleven am) called "Unless". S kept on winding me up, I felt. She wasn't doing it deliberately, I was just hyper paranoid.

Then school broke up and on the Friday my family went to Cardiff and in HMV I saw "Circuses and bread" was released, so I bought the LP there and then and played it and was gobsmacked at how good it was. Then it was Easter holidays so I effectively did nothing, saw nobody and did a lot of thinking in my head. And listened to the persistent melancholy of the Durutti Column.

I also explored some old tapes from my parents collection. One in particular was astonishing - "Can't help falling in love" by Andy Williams. A brilliant album, but somehow on that first hearing in 1986 it shook me to the core. No idea why, but it triggered some deeply hidden memories which made the album a very emotional experience.

So Easter passed by and I recorded the two new songs I had, and I wrote two more. "Each conversation" is perky electro pop with an honest lyric, but we will get to each song individually soon. That was 2nd April. On the 5th April - a Saturday, so another Final Ecstasy practice session - I borrowed Dave Blake's Wah Wah pedal and wrote and recorded "Someone else's dream" that night. It wasn't electro pop. And lastly I recorded a version of "Simple thing as love" from the Andy Williams album. Shoved them all together on a c15 tape and had a new EP.

The original plan was for the EP to be called "Despair" which is a pretty dull title. While thinking about the songs and titles I came up with a better EP title "Dreaming, winding, talking and lying". Again, winding like winding a clock. I also reconsidered the earlier shelved EP, decided to put both together and made a double EP, a contrast between the apparent happiness and the apparent sadness between the two EPs. I made up sleeves, put two tape boxes together and stuck them with sellotape (so it looked like "Substance", only a year before that) and had the tapes ready for "release" to my friends as soon as Summer term started.

With hindsight and the distance of thirty two years I have to say this - bloody hell, get over it mate. So everyone else fancies a girl you fancy, so what? Singing songs about how confused and depressed you are won't change anything, let alone endear you to her. But that's just how teenage me reacted, sulking and moaning and putting it into songs. Luckily the songs are quite good....

"Unless"

Ah the sound of a VL-tone drum machine. The verses are supposed to be like the guitars on "The true wheel" or "China my china", only less competent. The chorus guitar is supposed to be like raga rock. There's synth bass and me singing and one guitar and that's it really. I like the lyrics, they sort of sum up how I'm feeling. Not sure about some of the rhymes though, particularly in the second verse.

"Wind up"

Roland bass and lead, some dodgy Casio keyboard and me managing to change the drum patterns mid song. Quite effective. Not really passionate about being pissed off but you get the idea

"Someone else's dream"

Note to reader - at this point I had no distortion pedals.  This sound was achieved purely by overloading the VU meters on my tape deck. (A bit like the single version of "Revolution", I hear you say). I think Dave Blake's Wah Wah helps. So there's VL-tone drum machine, bass synth and two slightly distorted guitars. And me raging, or as raging as you'll hear until I clean up the Final Ecstasy tape. Of course it's not about a real dream, but it works for me. Shame about the guitar solo. Someone once said this was my Jesus and Mary Chain moment.

"Each conversation"

Hastily edited to fit onto the tape, thus losing an introduction and a first verse, but you do get the whole play out. An imaginary conversation with S and / or J. Not that that was ever likely to happen. There is a slight lift from "Royal infirmary" on this song, only without all the ninth or diminished minors that Vini Reilly would use.

And that's the EP.

What?

The Andy Williams cover?

No, you're not hearing that, it's appalling. I hadn't worked out how to transpose a song for my voice, so I sang it in the same key as Andy and I squeak and squawk and fuck me it's horrible so no, you're not hearing that.

Download here

The Kindest Lie

"The Kindest Lie" was issued (and for once I mean it, there were ten copies) on 26th August 1988, and was my first album of new material for nearly two years. As such there was quite a lot of material for me to choose from, and I'll date each songs creation as we go along. But first here's the context.

In September 1987 I left my home town of Penarth for Sheffield where I was studying at the Polytechnic there. I spent a lot of time feeling displaced and there are reams of pages of my diary then where I whine on endlessly about my past, the girls I fancied (one of whom was also in Sheffield, with her boyfriend) and how much I hate Penarth and all the people in it, looking down on them with the kind of arrogance only available to 18 year olds. God what an arse I was but there you go. In June 1988 I returned to Penarth and felt a ridiculous sense of superiority over my friends. I was unhappy to be back home, unhappy that all my friends hadn't progressed as much as I thought I had, unhappy that they were in relationships and I wasn't, and unhappy that I couldn't sign on while my brother could. Throw all this idiocy into a mixer and hide away for a month and "The kindest lie" pops out the other end.

The major difference between this album and any previous tapes of mine is a bit more clarity and a new keyboard. Previous tapes had been made with my brothers electric guitar, a Casio vl tone, a Casio MT-45 and a Roland Sh3a, all pumped through a four channel Tandy mixer and bounced from my Sanyo music centre to my JVC tape deck and back and forth. At the start of August 88 I bought a Casio SK1, a cute mini keyboard with better drum sounds, some new keyboard sounds and best of all a sampler, which I could mess around with for hours. It was hardly a Fairlight but it sampled for a second and it could be reversed or looped. This was marvellous for me. Also I decided to attempt to use less overdubs, I would make a first pass on the backing, then one round of overdubs and the second round of overdubs would go onto the master tape. This also meant the songs were all recorded in the order they appear on the album, so clearly I'd prepared everything before I started recording, which I didn't always do. So, less tape hiss, better sound quality,, some decent songs (and one or two iffy ones) - what could go wrong?

Well there were two incidents which led to this album. One was my lack of dole during the summer months, even though my brother got his. The other was some kind of falling out with a friend over a girlfriend, not that I fancied the girl or anything, just I felt betrayed and annoyed. So I stayed away from my friends throughout August, absorbed a lot of music which influenced this album and made the album in four weeks. When it was ready, I made up ten tape copies in proper sleeves (black card, gold writing, black tape case - it made quite a visual impact, I wish I still had one), returned to my pub and my friends and gave them out and waited for the repercussions.

Goodbye Happy Days

During the Spring and Summer of 1988 I absorbed as many of the Rubbles albums as I could find. There's a Goldfish post about it somewhere. Anyway this song was my attempt at freak beat,  only with the limited resources available to me. I think the song was written around June 1988 and isn't about anyone. The drum sound is a sample on the SK1 of the snare sound on the MT45, then I programmed the drum track on the SK1 and recorded it alongside the first guitar part, then a bass guitar part was programmed for the second pass and played alongside the second guitar part, then the vocal. Like I said, limited resources and the lack of any guitar overdrive loses the freakbeat nature. I'd happily rerecord this as I heard it in my head.

To the angels a daughter

According to my diary, I sat down in April 1987 at my typewriter and bashed out four lyrics about four different girls I knew, supposedly for an EP which may or may not have been called “Songs about girls”. These words had no actual tunes and are all pretty crap except for this song. In fact there was no music for this for a long time, it was just a poem. I found it again during the summer of 88 and wrote the music for it, clearly indebted to “Sad eyed lady of the lowlands”. So it’s a first pass of the guitar part, then an overdub of the SK1 organ preset and the Roland Sh3a doing a rather nice lead weaving through the song, then my vocal which is a bit Dylan-esque in places too. As for the words, well I sort of meant it at the time. It’s about a girl who everyone thought I fancied and fancied me but we had a love hate relationship really and yes I suppose I liked her a bit but not much but those last lines are horrible and she didn’t deserve that. I’m sure she’s happy somewhere. So parts of the lyric are item #1 on the evidence list of the Arrogant Tosspot. Speaking of which....

To be Lonely

This song had a tortured history, and I wish it had turned out differently. My diary relates that the song had a lyric about helicopters and flying for most of its existence and it was only in the days before recording that I changed the lyric to this horrible bitter diatribe about my friends and how I’m better off not having a girlfriend. Yeah sure. I absolutely hate this lyric, the terrible rhymes, the “oh look he’s going to make a REALLY OBVIOUS rhyme” in the chorus (for which I was duly told off by at least two listeners). So this is item #2 in evidence for the Arrogant Tosspot. I can go through each line criticising each word. It’s shit.
And yet the music is ok. That’s the MT45 chugging away as drums, there’s some hopeless lead guitar (played at the same time as the lead vocal was recorded, I think, hence the sudden changes in volume). And there’s the first appearance of the influence of Colin Newman – I was listening to “Provisionally entitled the singing fish” / “Not to” and the CN1 CD single all the time and the title was stolen from the refrain at the end of “You me and happy” from “Not to”. I wish I’d gone for the helicopter lyric.

What Makes The Sky Blue?

This song was written in February 1988 and originally appeared on side two of the “A miniature fortune” EP, three songs which are already digitised and may well get put online very soon. It was written in shock after returning to Penarth from Sheffield for a few days but is worded in such a way that it’s hard to tell. The February recording was fast, in mono, had six verses and was primitive and rather good. I rerecorded it for the album by slowing it down, losing two verses and making it sound quieter and less desperate. I always liked this song, and rerecorded it in 2000 for no real reason other than I liked it. There are hints of Arrogant Tosspot in the occasional line of the lyric but frankly I’ll let it pass. I love this song. It’s a bit of a sloppy performance because there’s no real rhythm track but what the hell.

Untitled

The song which started it all. As hinted in the introduction I felt betrayed by a friend and got pissed off and wrote this song about it at the start of August. Not sure why I never really gave the song a title. The music was one of the first pieces I wrote on the day I bought the SK1 – if you listened to “Nothing to say” you’ll notice a song with the same sounds and stereo field placement. Looking back this song is very very bitter. Thankfully short though.

For Anne

This might take a little time to explain. Bear with me.

In September 1986 I supposedly retired from music. Ha ha ha. I still kept writing songs though and by April 1987 had two mini albums planned, one of happy songs “Seven heavens” and one of fucked up songs called either “Morgan – a suitable case for treatment” or more likely “All messed up and nowhere to go”. “For Anne” was from the latter album. It’s an allegory of a relationship with a person for a relationship with a place – my old school. The Anne in question was my old Computer Studies teacher Mrs Mulrooney. Not that we ever had a relationship. There are hints of Arrogant Tosspot in here too, though I do admit that life is a struggle. The song was written on guitar but this version was heavily indebted to ’86 era Felt, as August 88 was all about “Doing it for the kids” and buying Felt LPs in their sale. So imagine if Lawrence was a slightly pissed off teenager with only a Casio for Martin Duffy to play. There’s some charmingly hopeless keyboard and guitar playing here.

The Way Forward

Another odd one. I wrote and recorded this in April 88 and that version was issued on the “Missing fifteen minutes” EP in July 88, and that tape turned up today so I may digitise that next because it really is hopeless, apart from this song. It’s sort of vaguely Dylan-esque and sort of politically critical of the Tory government at the time but most of the time the lyrics mean nothing. The third verse is about watching TV, “Through the keyhole” and “A fine romance”. But again I like this song. There’s an oddly tuned guitar running through it, sort of raga rock, created by removing one of the strings I think.  And I’m bashing a kitchen roll tube. Lots of Casio chugging and for once it works.

Nothing Personal

Ha ha ha OF COURSE it’s personal. An introductory verse as good as any I ever wrote, four verses taking pot shots at four friends, then a closing verse and I fuck off. Meanwhile the Colin Newman influence comes through again, this time “Fish One” from “The singing fish”. I sampled a guitar harmonic into the SK1 then programmed the main descending riff really slowly then sped up the keyboard tempo and boom. Then I just added layers and layers of keyboards. And I fucked up triggering the sequence and drum machine at one point. I’m surprised some of the people this song is about didn’t punch me, this again is Arrogant Tosspot at his best. On the other hand what a tune! Written and recorded in one afternoon in August 88.

Past present future

A rare song that was written fully formed in my room in Sheffield, I think it was May or June 88, the tune and lyrics all came at once. Again it’s the Arrogant Tosspot, this time thinking about an imaginary conversation with an imaginary friend in my home town. Not very nice lyric really. The percussion track is a sample of me hitting one of my mother’s baking trays, it took three attempts and she asked me afterwards why there were three dents in her tray. There’s guitar and programmed bass and it’s a bit dull really.

Get out and give ‘em hell

And finally, having slagged off my home town and friends for 35 minutes, I look at myself hiding away for a month and tell myself to get out and live a bit. The song title came from the name of a fanzine I’d bought in Manchester a few months before, the song itself was written in an afternoon towards the end of August 88 and it sounds live because it pretty much is live. Oddly enough a few of my friends who heard this song thought I’d written it about them, and I was “No, it’s me, honest”. I like how this song ends.

So the album was issued at the end of August 1988 and instead of everyone punching me, they all loved it. So much so that one couple asked me to write a song about them, and we'll get to that soon enough.

In the meantime, download "The Kindest Lie" here.

THE KINDEST LIE

Robert Morgan Learns To Dance

I was given my first musical instrument for Christmas in 1983 when I was 14. It was a Casio MT-45 and it was £100 from Argos. "That's probably got more technology in it than Rick Wakeman had access to ten years ago" said my dad. I doubted it. The Casio has eight preset sounds, eight preset rhythms, auto accompaniment with "arpeggiator" and rhythm fill-ins, and that was about it. But I loved it and immediately started messing around, making up tunes and grooving to the chugging Casio tone. I also found that there was a ninth rhythm pattern if I slipped the selector between patterns. Circuit bending 1980s style.

Of course if you've read any of the numerous blog posts over at A Goldfish Called Regret you'll know Xmas 83 was all about crushing on someone, receiving great albums by Eno, Kraftwerk, Tangerine Dream and Freur, and pissing around with the Casio. It just inspired me to play. I had no music training at all...actually I'd had two years of music lessons in school but none of the theory we learnt was related to music we heard so it made no sense. My dad showed me how to make a chord as a triad of notes and that was it. Off I went, chugging out tunes. I must have driven my family mad. Same old tunes chugging away. Admittedly I usually kept my headphones on, and there was more noise generated by my brother with his new electric guitar and 50 watt amp. Indeed on listening closely to some of these recordings i can hear my brother bashing out riffs in the background, the noise filtering through my bedroom wall.

Time passed slowly. My crush moved on, I started another crush and at no point did I think "Hey this may be something I could write a song about". I'd written poems in English and had written songs in my head for my imaginary band Scrabble, but never thought of writing songs with lyrics. There were exceptions and we will discuss this in time. But for months I just churned out instrumentals. Maybe I was gearing up for the big reveal.

The first actual song with lyrics turned out to be "The way we were", written on a cross channel ferry to France in the summer of 1984. Nothing much happened then until autumn 1984 brought it's own misery of unrequited crushes, threats of violence from boyfriend of unrequited crushes, diaries being read in school and being seen as a swot who won competitions for the school and got his photo in the local paper. Read all about that on Goldfish.

Out of that turmoil came "Embarrassing Situation". Written directly to my crush, it was given to her by a friend, and she walked up to me and ripped the lyrics up and threw the shreds of paper over me. After that songs just started flowing. Not all of them were about her, but some were and everyone assumed all my songs were about her even if they weren't. I recorded three songs onto a tape which was played in a German lesson while I banged on the door begging them to stop playing it. My crush hated me even more then, especially as the rest of the class were raving about how I was the new Howard Jones. 1984, you know.

So at some point in the Autumn of that year I started recording my compositions. Not sure why I decided to use a Prinz Professional C90. I'm pretty sure I bought the tape from Bessemer Road Sunday market. Of course my recording methods were pretty crap, Cherry Close wasn't Abbey Road. I didn't even borrow my brother's guitar cable. My JVC tape deck had two mics and I stuck them on the Casio's speaker. So more often than not you will hear me breathing, changing buttons on the keyboard and actually pressing the keys down. There are sections of the tape where I'm basically playing these songs straight after each other live to tape and I can hear me switching settings on the keyboard in the gaps. Most of these have been edited out.

Meanwhile a public health warning

CAVEAT EMPTOR!

This is badly recorded shit. Do not expect high quality sounds. It's mainly one keyboard. The tunes are sometimes catchy but go on way too long. Seriously, I do not expect anyone to listen to this more than once. Less than once is more likely. I will not be offended if you jump forward through most of these songs. I would. I have.

I may not have anything interesting to say about each of the songs

Side One

"Introduction"

A nice little tune. Electric piano preset. C major seventh.

"Slight instrumental 1"

Slight is right. It's a couple of chords. Do I know what I'm doing ? Hell no.

"Forget-me-knot"

This is the second song I wrote in December 83, all major chords in all the wrong places (F, E, D into B, G, E) and the waltz setting. Somehow something so wrong sounds so right. Absolutely no idea why this isn't mentioned on the sleeve. I can't remember what the actual title is of this song so I've named it today.

"Timing and precision"

The first song I wrote on the Casio. Goes on for about 90 seconds too long. I would find out two years after writing this that I had unknowingly ripped off "Stratosfear" by Tangerine Dream. Cute.

"Event"

Another tune I had knocking around and played all the time. Goes on too long and it's only 3 minutes long.

"Transit"

Another classic. I quite like this and since playing the tape last week it has been buzzing around my head constantly.  On the other hand it's 8 minutes long. There's no overdubs, just straight Casio MT45. It's like a Casio demo tape. I've yet to learn how to edit myself. (Looks at notes) Still true 8-)

"Music to relax on a beach to"

Some of these titles were made up on the spot when I typed up the sleeve. This was a samba rhythm I think. Another oft-played classic. A change of pace I suppose.

"Electricity"

My first vocal on the tape. Oh God. Yes it's the OMD song. Yes it's terrible. It's not in my key and I had yet to work out how to transpose to another key. Horrible. Oh dear.

"Slight instrumental 2"

This is rather sweet. It's also short. I love it to be honest. Would work well as an ident for a radio station or something.

"Verpassen 1" / "Verpassen 2"

Fucked if I can remember what Verpassen means. (Quick Google). Oh "to miss", like missing a train. First and only appearance on the tape of my Oric. So at last stereo - I had stereo mics so one mic went under the Oric, the other went on the Casio speaker. Whatever. Part One has the Oric playing a four note arpeggio like a demented Tangerine Dream, and I improvise over the top with the Casio. Sometimes quite accidentally it turns into an odd Philip Glass Terry Riley moment of greatness. You can hear me make changes on the Oric by pressing keys on it to raise the octave. Goes on too long. Then the Oric does its "Explode" noise and we're into Part 2, Oric repeating a chord and again me improvising over it. Goes on too long.

"Whatever happened to timing and precision?"

Now I've discovered how to overdub that's it now, I'm off! This is pure shit. Do not listen to it. In fact the best part is right at the start with just the drum machine where the attentive listener can hear my brother playing power chords from his bedroom next door.

"My world"

Yes, you know this one. This turned into "Monday will never be the same" on "Presence and Proximity" ten years later. And yes back in the 80s there was a lyric. No you're not hearing it.

"Technical fault"

This is what happened when I caused feedback on my JVC tape deck. The VU meters went nuts. And I plunk guitar strings. Avant Garde.

"Mixed up all wrong"

First appearance of my brother's guitar. Two overdubs, the guitar as bass, second guitar as "I don't know how to play a chord" and I think I'm playing the Casio at the same time as I'm strumming.

"And so onwards"

Recorded on 28th December 1984. How do I know? Cos that's when I bought my Casio VL-tone. New sounds! The chance to programme in melody or sequence, an ADSR lead sound... Fucking hell I thought this was it. And as if to prove it, the VL-tone bass sound here is absolutely immense! This is really cute and I'm still fond of it.

End of side one

Pause to turn over tape

Side two

"Statues"

Yes THAT "Statues". Already established by 1985 as my favourite song ever, it's the heartbreaking OMD song. And I substitute all that gorgeousness with a Casio. At least the vocal is subdued.

"Neither either way"

A genuine Scrabble song. At least the idea of it was. The initial first minute or so. Then I just drive the ideas (which are pretty shit) into the ground. Too bloody long.

"Fall from grace"

Cute. Three minutes too long.

"Lovesick"

And AT LAST the actual songs start.   I have a notion that I wrote "Lovesick" after hearing "Sleepless" by Microdisney on Peel in late 83 and in my head I can hear it. It's a song with lyrics and an actual melody and I rerecorded it in 1989 (where's the fucking tape of that, eh?) and Final Ecstasy played it in 1987 when I wasn't singing, and this recording doesn't do it justice. I programmed the melody into the VL-tone then played it with the step buttons which is why it's so stilted. Live recording of music, overdub of quiet vocal. Not about anyone. I should rerecord this properly. Second verse is shite.

"The way we were"

Written on the first day of a holiday to France on Bastille Day 1984. Not about anyone. I always played this on the tango setting, not sure why I recorded it like this. Goes on too long. Also I don't remember the third verse at all.

"Fond regards to the bitter end"

Great title, Rob. Not about anyone but as I said, everyone assumed these songs were about my crush. They weren't. I quite like this one, though it's a bit bitchy.

"Haywire"

The first alarm bells should have sounded here. Am I describing myself? There's hints of truth here, but the final verse is just stupid. Shame. Stupid end too. I sound like Vini Reilly.

"Distress signals"

This should have been "The happy couple", a bitchy song about my crush and her boyfriend. Only she found out I was recording my songs and basically threatened to have her boyfriend beat me up if I recorded any songs about her. So bye bye "The happy couple" and instead "Distress signals", a song about drowning and nobody noticing. METAPHOR ALERT! Again a piss poor third verse. Could I not write third verses? (Cue for Paul K to shout "Or middle eights!") Of course the original lyrics are lost in time somewhere. I quite like this one too.

"Western Avenue"

A hymn to the M4. In terms of music and melody, probably the best song on the tape. At some point I just list places on the M4. "Route 66" or "Autobahn" this is not. The music would be adapted in 1991 to become "Leave me alone", which was then rerecorded in 1993 for "It doesn't matter", the master tape of which was thrown away by my wife around 2001. Shame, it was great.

"Talk to me"

Actually this is about someone. Whether it's about my crush.... Maybe maybe not. Still, sounds pretty heartfelt. Catchy.

"Distance fades between us"

Definitely not the OMD song of the same name. This was "Embarrassing Situation", which always made me think of the Magic Roundabout for some reason.I changed the lyrics but this time I kept the originals somewhere,cos I recorded "Embarrassing Situation" in 1991. Worst lyric here, utter nonsense.

"Oriental"

And then the songs stop, and I realise I've still got more tape to fill up. This is a shite instrumental with messy overdubs and shit.

"Untitled"

Shit I've still got tape to fill up. So here's a pure improvisation. It's shit. Don't bother.

--------------

So that was "Robert Morgan Learns To Dance", a title I made up on the spot. It was IBM T1 - Industrial Beat Music was my tape label and there would be more.

The tape was finished in January 1985, I typed up a cover on my mother's typewriter (starting a tradition which would last until 1988) and let my friends know that it was available if they wanted to hear it. There was only one copy, and this was it. I can't remember many people actively wanting to hear it, in fact I can only remember one person commenting on it (Hi Nigel!). He said the songs all sounded the same (true), the vocals were too quiet (true) and the songs went on forever (true). "It's like every song is a 12 inch mix" was the line which stuck with me. He was completely right of course. Would that stop me? Hell no, now I knew how to express myself I would keep chugging out tapes (see other posts here and on Goldfish). Download the album here

Songs for TracyK

The esteemed @Perlalaloca is carrying out a long term scheme on Twitter called #TheMixtapeProject where each week a different individual contributes a playlist on Spotify like an old fashioned compilation tape – an imaginary C90 of music for someone else to listen to. This playlist will go public on Sunday nights, shared by Tracy and others, and folks can listen to it and comment on what they enjoyed and didn’t enjoy.

And I’m contributing the playlist for week 5.

But you know me, I like the sound of my own words and have too much to say for myself, so I offered to write some sleeve notes for this playlist, partly to explain my choices and partly as something to do which may well kickstart my writing after a fallow period.

So here we go....

Side one (yes it’s meant to be a proper compilation tape with two sides)

“Fanfare” – Eric Matthews (from “It’s heavy in here” LP, 1995)

Every mix should start with a fanfare of trumpets, and what better way than this? Eric Matthews appeared in the mid 90s, firstly as part of Cardinal with Richard Davies, and then solo – this was his first solo single, issued by Sub Pop in 1995. I think my 7” was on clear vinyl. Eric’s second album “The lateness of the hour” is end to end brilliant, and is well worth checking out.

“Count it up” – Field Music (from “Open here” LP, 2018)

I’ve only heard one Field Music album before their new one, but “Open here” is great and is highly recommended. Under normal circumstances I would include the closing song which I had on repeat recently and which moved me to tears, but this is just an instant pop song, but with a lot of bite in the lyrics department.

“Remove for improvement” – Colin Newman (From “Not to” album, 1982)

Of course Colin Newman is the lead singer in Wire, but it was good to see his early 80s solo material reissued last year, and getting a lot of love too. There’s plenty of Wire offcuts on these albums, and “Remove for improvement” is one such song, rehearsed in 1979 but not recorded properly at the time. It’s one of the highlights of Newman's career, a song which sounds so simple but builds with more interlocking guitar parts as it progresses.

“My denial in Argyle” – Woodpigeon (from “Die Stadt Musikaten”, 2011)

Isn’t it great when you walk into a record shop, hear them playing a great song and walk up to the counter and say “I want to buy what’s playing”. That was how I discovered Woodpigeon, in Diverse Records in Newport, Summer ’09. That song was “Cities of weather”, from their second album, but this is from their third album a year or so later. Why? Why not. It’s a great song and is about as rocking as they get.

“Goodbye it’s 1987” - Microdisney  (from “The clock comes down the stairs” LP, 1985)

I’m not one for band reunions, but Microdisney reforming to play “The clock comes down the stairs” is good news. It’s an album which hasn’t aged a jot, it seems the mid 80s world of Tory ruination is just as relevant in 2018 – who’d have thought it? “Let’s tax the wages of sin” indeed. I could have picked any song from the album but this fits nicely with the next song.

“Suspicious Minds” – Elvis Presley (from “From Elvis in Memphis” album, 1969)

When I was young my three major musical loves were The Beatles, Elvis Presley and the Wombles. There was a time all three acts were on this playlist. Why is this here? Because it’s Elvis at his very best. One of my first memories of this song is seeing a promo film for it involving Elvis in prison. On the other hand, there is no promo film for this song. So I probably dreamt it. Just ignore me, ok?

“Stained glass” - Real Estate (from “In mind” LP, 2017)

I came to Real Estate via Rob’s Alphabet Of Indie, which goes to show I do listen to everything suggested. That was “Had to hear”, and not long after that they issued their most recent album “In mind” and I listened to little else for about a month. It’s just perfect guitar pop, and the songs are mostly hopefully treaties on love and belonging. And to those people who say there’s no such thing as perfect pop, it’s all subjective.

“Off your face” – My Bloody Valentine  (from “Glider” EP, 1990)

As I’ve said many times, an album of MBV songs which sounds like this would shit all over “Loveless”. There’s so much going on here. Those swooping guitars! The bass which is all over the place! The words! The chaos of guitars fighting in the background. And once the singing stops it just keeps on fucking going and those swooping guitars play in the air like courting doves. Sublime.

“King’s Lead Hat” - Brian Eno (from “Before and after science”, 1977)

Jesus, I’ve been listening to this song for 35 years now and I still get something new from it. Eno does punk as a tribute to Talking Heads, and it makes no sense but works anyway. How have I never noticed how the bass is slightly late to every bar?

“Now is now” – Band Of Susans (from “Now!” mini LP, 1992)

As I write this sleeve note I’m also writing a Toppermost on Band Of Susans, how they were brilliant, how they should be revered alongside Sonic Youth and other Blast First bands for their carefully built wall of guitars, but nobody noticed them then and even less so now. Hell, I missed them at the time,  what do I know? And also what I’m saying is that underneath the wall of guitar noise they could write great melodies and songs too. Which is why this is here. I always wanted my band to cover this song, I reckon we could have done it proud.

“She floated away” – Husker Du (from “Warehouse : Songs and Stories” LP, 1987)

I’m not the sort of person to say “go read my blog” but frankly the best way to understand how important “Warehouse” is to me is to read my blog post on Goldfish about it. Also, the bottom end of this sucks in relation to the previous songs,  someone somewhere must be remastering the Husker Du catalogue to give it some balls. “A man has two reasons for things that he does, the first one is pride and the second one is love” True, that.

Side two

“Tilting at windmills” – The Field Mice (from “For keeps” LP, 1991)

If side one was fast and (relatively) happy, side two is slower and more melancholy. Which is a good place to bring in the Field Mice, who really are one of the most important bands ever for me. This isn’t one of their lyrical odes of loves lost and won and misunderstood, this is an atmospheric instrumental which fits perfectly for the purpose. Dreamy.

“High flying bird” – Moose (from “...XYZ” LP, 1992)

From the “Be my baby” drumbeat onwards, this is sublime. A hazy shade of autumn, so many memories here, I may just end up saying nothing useful about side two because it’s songs with memories and prickling eyes and ice shivers down the spine.

“Transistor” - Kraftwerk (from “Radio Activity” LP, 1975)

A short and bittersweet interlude. Crossing the Severn Bridge at night, after a long journey from France, dozing off but nearly home and happy and sad too that it’s all over. I was 14, ok? Not falling asleep at the wheel....

“I believe in you” – Talk Talk (from “Spirit of Eden”, 1988)

Late night buses, later nights alone in bed, headphones on, picking up the details, working out what the hell was going on with this album. So human, some mistakes are meant to be recorded. And then the choir comes in like sunlight through stained glass and illuminates the emotions.

“I feel like going home” - Yo La Tengo  (from “I am not afraid of you and I will beat your ass” LP, 2006)

Standing outside a call centre at 9pm and walking around in a teary eyed daze. Thinking I was right when I was utterly wrong. And that chord change on the word "alone".. “Running from the voices filling up my brain”.

“Luftschloss” – Eno / Moebius / Roedelius  (from “After the heat” LP, 1978)

Cutting a hedge on a stepladder and almost falling off when this came on. Thank God I don’t have to do that any more.

“I was just dreaming” – The Orchids (b side to “Tharmaturgy” single, 1992)

“Do you know what I mean?” she whispered to me.... in the right / wrong mood this is the greatest song in the world. The Orchids are one of the greatest bands in the world. Every line strikes a chord with me. “And you know she almost smiled?”

“Country rain” - Slowdive (from “In mind” EP, 1993)

I sometimes feel that I romanticise the past too much, but bloody hell the 1992 to 1994 period of my life was filled with wonderful music and crushing on completely the wrong person(s) in such a devoted way that the two things are completely entwined. “And I wish you were mine”.

“All that love and maths can do” - The Durutti Column  (b side to “Tomorrow” single, 1986)

One of my three favourite pieces of music ever. 21st March 1986. Still clear in my head every time I hear the song. Tears? Oh hell yes. Every time.

“Between two points” – The Montgolfier Brothers (from “Seventeen stars” LP, 2000)

Your guardian angel gives up the ghost.

“The great dominions” – The Teardrop Explodes  (from “Wilder” LP, 1981)

One of the greatest album closers ever, from one of the greatest albums ever. And I guess a bit of hope after so much despair in the past. Sorry if I’ve gone on a bit and it’s not made sense. It’s just what music does to me, I can’t express myself very well under normal circumstances (partly my ASD and partly just me but mostly it's the ASD) so I get emotions and emotional through music, it’s why music means so much to me, a way to unlock emotions, a way forward to understanding other people, and maybe making a little bit of sense of my world. Music is important. I hope it is to you too. These are some of my favourite songs, I hope you have enjoyed them, even if you don’t have the memories I have. Thank you for listening and thank you to Tracy for asking me to do this and thank you for indulging me. Thank you and God bless.

Mangled Tapes - an introduction

So I finally found a tape deck which works so I can now hook it up to a computer and start to digitally transfer my old tapes of my songs recorded between 1985 and 1994 for your pleasure or punishment. Some of my old tapes are already on Soundcloud and have been written about on the main blog (thats A Goldfish Called Regret) but I may well transfer them over here. This isn't going to be comprehensive, there are tapes missing or just not located yet but I'll do what I can. You can download them, listen to them once and delete them as far as I'm concerned. This means more to me than you, but that's to be expected. But there you go, a big chunk of my past. I'll write sleeve notes which might put the songs into context. All tape hiss is entirely necessary, no tarting up will be performed on the tapes. This is raw Rob Morgan. Enjoy!